Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? – nostalgic

"Carina never mentioned a basement," Aela said, watching him closely. She wanted to go to him, to comfort him, but she still harbored that secret fear that he would lash out at her. So she hung back, watching him with concerned eyes.

"She said... well she said she got you in trouble sometimes, and that your dad disciplined you. I already assumed as much. It sounded cruel. But no, nothing about a basement. I mean, I've been dreaming about a basement, and chains lately. I just didn't think it was related to you- all the things in my dream were my own fears, generally."

Aela's heart constricted at the sadness in his gaze, and the urge to go to him was stronger than ever. But she just... couldn't. It wasn't safe to get close to anyone. The closer she was to him, the scarier his anger became. The easier it was for him to hurt her.

Then he said something about his father blinding him. Aela stared at him openly, memories that oozed with fear and confusion crossing her mind once again. He had been open with his dream, so she supposed she could share a tiny bit with him, to help assuage his fear. "Yes, um... something like that happened to me as well, in my childhood." Not wanting to dwell, she skimmed past it. "I guess our memories are mixing in our dreams? It's strange, but not beyond the realm of magic and unknown powers. Nothing to worry about, I guess, in the end."

"It wasn't permanent," she said quietly, turning her gaze to the window again. "I had decided I was going to run away. It was right after Lizzie was banished- I thought I could run away and join her family. That was one of his powers- blinding. He caught me before I made it off the grounds, and took away my sight so I couldn't leave."

She cleared her throat, shivering. "He gave it back eventually, when I promised I would never try to leave again. It was a rough few days. But it's all in the past, right?" She moved towards the bed, slipping under the covers in an attempt to warm up. "I'm fine now."

If fine meant she was struggling with issues of her past she had tried to repress, then sure, she was fine. "We should probably go back to sleep."

"Thank you," Aela said, softening as she glanced over at him. She had been harsh in her judgment of him, she knew. But anything that reminded her of her father made an instant and lasting mark. "And I know you didn't deserve what your father did to you."

She didn't know the extent of it, or even the specifics really, but she could guess- and it was assuredly equally terrible. Funny, that two broken children would find their way to each other, even through an arranged marriage. "And I'm okay. Just really cold."

Part of it was the dream, and part of it was the chill in the night air. Funny how when she had borne these burdens alone she had never been this cold- but now that these memories were partially in the open, the blanket couldn't be warm enough. "I'll warm up soon, no worries."

"Yes, that's better," Aela whispered, tucking her cheek against his shoulder, her hand pressed tentatively against his chest. She was a little ashamed of her lack of resolve- she had just vowed to keep her distance, and here she was, curling closer to him. It was just because she was cold, she tried to assure herself, but that wasn't the case. A caring touch melted her walls away, the facade of an adult she put up. The gentleness she had never received as a child broke her down, drew her in, made her forget who she was supposed to be and allowed her to focus on simply existing. It didn't take long for her to drift back to sleep.

---

Aela leaned forward to pick up the newspaper, skimming the article with a sigh. She wanted to help Cassian, she did. But she had been thinking about the blinding too, the utter lack of control she had felt. If she knew anything, it was that if you gave an abuser an inch, they'd take a mile. If she gave in here, Cassian's father would just demand more. And it was hard enough dealing with the ghost of her father- she would not allow herself to be controlled again.

"I cannot reconsider," she said, setting the paper down and looking up at Cassian with sympathy. "I am sorry. But one robbery, one outlier, is not enough justification for the massive overhaul of the highway system. We can just tighten security in that area- it's worked before."

Perhaps he did have a point, and perhaps she was naive. But Aela was tired of being a puppet for someone else to control. "There's a difference between putting your foot down and making an enemy, Cassian," she said, sighing. "We can look for a compromise, perhaps through a diplomatic meeting. But we have more power than you're willing to hold."

The church may control a lot, but the monarchy was not entirely useless... yet. However, if Cassian continued down this road of immediately surrendering any decision, they might become obsolete. "I know we're young, but we can make a stand, together- but only if you don't throw in the towel so quickly."

Aela let out a slow exhale, her mind churning to try and find a solution. She wanted to fight- Cassian didn't. She did not want to be controlled, and she did not want to control him, to force him to continue in this eternal struggle against his father. Perhaps there was an alternate solution to all of this?

The queen rose, setting the newspaper aside and moving to sit beside Cassian on the bed. After a moment, she reached out to touch his knee, trying to offer a bit of comfort to abate the exhaustion she could see in his eyes. "Maybe... well, maybe there's a way for you to get out of this?"

It was an impulsive thought, and probably an impractical one, but Aela couldn't help but see herself in Cassian. The urges of her childhood came back, and she sighed. "You can tell me if this is a stupid idea, but I... well, I could help you run away- fake your death, even. That's the only way you can get out of this marriage, out of this constant battle with your father. Then he can blame me for all the resistance he faces, and you'd be free. You could go somewhere else- I can give you enough money to live, though not as comfortably as you're used to."

She knew it wasn't ideal. It would be difficult to pull off, and Cassian would have to start over. But anything was preferable to seeing him like this. And maybe she could even extend an olive branch to her former self, make up for that day when she had failed to escape on her own by helping someone else get out.

Aela reached out again, awkwardly patting his back. How did one fairy comfort another? She'd read about it, but in person it was so... different. She felt so stilted in that arena. But she did feel an overwhelming sympathy for Cassian. She understood his frustration, and she would not begrudge him a life of freedom if that was what he wanted.

"I deal with it because I never had a choice. No one gave me one. But I'm offering one to you- so please think about it. Even if you think it's silly." If he stayed, she wanted it to be because he chose to. She wanted him to be different from her, when she was forced into this.

The light of the setting sun streamed in through the window, turning the room a vivid orange. Aela stood, stretching before heading to grab one of her nightgowns and go to bed. She wished she was better at this- at comforting Cassian, at being a good friend, but her lack of experience in those areas seemed doomed to plague her.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she slipped into her side of the bed, hand raising to pet Olive as the kitten walked up alongside her. "Get some sleep," she told Cassian. "Maybe there won't be any bad dreams tonight."

Aela was not having a better dream at all- hers also felt less like a dream and more like an unfamiliar memory...

It was the longest he had ever been locked up in the basement. Two weeks. His mother had been in Kama, visiting her sister. There was no one to get him out. He could barely remember what it was like, to see light, to see sunlight. Of course, a dark fairy could see clearly in the dark, but there was a difference. There was no color, no warmth in the darkness.

Cassian shivered in the cold, damp room, wearing only the pajamas he had been wearing when his mother left and the chain that chafed at his wrists. Why was dad like this? Why was he being punished? Cato and Carina were never treated like this. Even when their father punished them, he had yelled, he had locked them downstairs for an afternoon.

But two weeks? The boy was shivering, as he heard the sound of footsteps descending into the darkness.

“Have you managed to learn your lesson yet?” the man snapped, sitting on the other side of the cages that were often meant for the monsters and creatures of his experiments. When Cassian hesitated, the man stood up violently, flipping the table over in anger as the young boy flinched.

“You’re twenty two!” he snarled, “most children learn how to manifest their powers years before this! Your sister’s first was when she was ten! Why did the gods give me a son this useless?”

“I’m sorry father,” Cassian’s voice shook, his green eyes wide with terror, “please...I’m trying, I just...I can learn it, I swear–”

“–and you still haven’t!” the man snarled, “do I have to train you differently than the others? Cato had already perfected how to travel in shadows at this age and you can’t even manage a measly attack!”

The man sat down, his eyes glowing with disappointment, “you know I’m doing this for your own good, Cassian. How are you supposed to survive out there without any talents? Your brother’s been a fighter since birth and your sister picks up everything faster than everyone else. I have no use for a boy who can’t even do the simplest things on his own.”

“I’ll try harder,” Cassian was on his knees, begging, “I swear, I’ll do anything, just please…”

The man didn’t relent. “I see there’s only one way to push you further now,” he replied coldly, as he disappeared for a moment, before reappearing, unlocking the door of the cage.

Was he finally being let out? Cassian’s green eyes widened in hope, only to quickly turn into terror.

Gods, he thought as he almost pissed himself, what the hell was that?

A manticore. A young one; it couldn’t be older much than he was, but its flashing teeth and claws immediately made the young boy back up quickly. For a moment, his eyes met the creature’s and he could see his own terror reflected back to him.

“Let’s see how you fare with a creature like this,” his father sneered, “if you can’t even handle a manticore cub, you’re no use to me. Either it dies, or you die. I have no use for a powerless child.”

The sound of a whip cracked in the air, and whatever hesitation the creature had was gone, as a loud roar left his mouth. The lion-like monster snarled, licking its lips as it stared at the food that was now left out for him. Hunger was evident in its beady eyes.

Cassian looked back to his father, terror radiating from him as he felt his bladder empty in terror. He was scrambling up, trying to run, pulling as hard as he could on the chains.

Please, he could hear himself beg, please!

The creature’s fiery breath hit the wall right next to him, and he screeched, his wrists bleeding from how hard he was trying to pull away. If he had any impression that the creature had been a figment of his imagination, it was certainly different now that he felt the heat licking at his shoulder briefly. Tears were running down his face, as the creature crouched, and pounced, teeth meeting his shoulder.

He blacked out, feeling something erupt from within him. Tendrils of darkness flowed from within his chest, his eyes glowing purple as they thrashed and whipped around, and the next thing he knew, he was waking up again, dazed and confused.

Where was he? He blinked, feeling completely drained, the chains no longer around his wrists. He was clean again...his clothes had been changed, and he was sitting at the table, a blanket around his shoulders. There were bandages on his shoulder and wrists.

“You did well, son,” a man’s voice came from behind him, and he looked up to his father, his eyes no longer angry, but...proud? What happened?

He turned to look at the cage that he had been locked in, only to see red. Blood, splattered all around, and whatever was left of the manticore, it was in pieces. Flesh and torn bone all over the place. He felt his stomach lurch, as his hands flew to his mouth. He did that?

“You’re a dark fairy, son,” the man responded, as he left the door open, giving him permission to leave, “you’ll be put into private lessons from today onwards.”

Cassian sat still, waiting for the footsteps to disappear, before emptying the contents of his stomach on the ground.

Aela jerked awake only a few minutes after Cassian, nausea clutching her stomach. She had never seen such gore in her life, and to have it haunt her dreams was deeply unnerving. Had she been... Cassian? Was that a memory? It was too horrifying to be real, right? Her hand flew over her mouth as she retched, sitting up to try to stall the vomit. It was only then that she noticed Cassian awake beside her, watching her with concern.

"Can I have some water, please?" She asked, still queasy.