▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 17:22:27 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 17:22:27 GMT -5
The city of Pyxis was beautiful, Cassian decided, but not nearly as beautiful as Vela. While his father and late brother often did business here, Cassian usually stayed at their seaside manor with his mother instead. He enjoyed the rolling seas, even if it was a tad bright for him sometimes. The fact that Nyre wasn't all too far away–and that city was excellent for parties and getaways–made it better too. Pyxis was so far south that barely anything was close by. Of course, that was probably why this was the capital; far away from other countries meant it was safe, he supposed.
"You better straighten up, son," the older man snapped, giving Cassian a distasteful look, "don't slouch like that and remember your manners. I won't have you acting like some sort of untrained dog while we're here."
Cassian's jaw tightened as he sat up a little bit taller, still looking out the window of their carriage. He always felt so small next to the bulky man, and the massive city made him feel even worse. He knew what this was, and it cut even deeper knowing he wasn't his father's first choice for this either. If Cato was still alive, he'd be the one getting married off to some princess or whatever, and he'd probably love that too. That man was always a womanizer since they were children, but alas, here they were, with no one getting anything they wanted. His father didn't have the heir he desired, Cassian didn't have a choice, and Cato, well, one shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
"You remember all your lessons, correct?" his father glared at him, and Cassian only nodded. "Speak up, I want to hear you say it. Why are you here?"
"I'm here to fulfill my duty to the house of Rotherhithe and get in the good graces of the princess and the royal family, and to wed the princess and become king," he replied quietly.
"They'll tell you all the formalities, that you have time to adjust and that Zorya allows for matched couples to separate if things don't work out, as long as it's within two years," he father spoke, "but you know the consequences of failure, don't you, son."
It wasn't a question, but a statement. Failure was never allowed, his father always made sure of that, and this was by far the most trust anyone had ever bestowed upon him. Frankly, it was more than a little intimidating. He rubbed his sweaty palms on the frilly collared coat he was wearing, tugging at the suffocating shirt, so pressed he could barely move in it.
"Yes sir," he replied, as the carriage stopped and the door was opened. Stepping out into the sunlight, he squinted in order to adjust. God, it was so early. The castle was right in front of them. Watching his father bow towards two people heading over, he blinked before mirroring the same motion.
"Ah, Queen Aela, Duchess Sibyl, may I present my son and your suitor, Cassian Augustine Rotherhithe III."
Cassian glanced at his father, the panic barely surfacing in his eyes, before meeting Aela's gaze and giving her a low bow. "It's an honour, my queen," he spoke carefully.
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Jan 30, 2021 17:40:01 GMT -5
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Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 17:40:01 GMT -5
“But I don’t want to!” Young Aela had cried, referencing some royal duty or another she had been expected to fulfill as crown princess. She no longer remember what she had been crying over, but she did remember the tears and snot dripping down her cheeks.
Her father had stooped to her level, grasping her chin firmly in his strong palm. “That doesn’t matter,” he had said, coolly and sternly, leveling his golden eyes at her until the tears had stopped. “What you want does not matter. You and I- we are royalty. We are light fairies. We do what is required of us. And we do it without this shameful spectacle of tears.”
Queen Aela felt quite the same way now about her impending marriage, underneath her steady gaze and diplomatic smile. For her entire life she had been trained to do things she had never asked to do, never wanted to do. The shameful side of her wanted to lament over the unfairness of it all- the romantic side of her yearned for a partner who knew and loved her, not this stranger.
But, as it always did in public, her royal side came through. This was for the good of the kingdom, so she would do it without any lowly theatrics and whining. She inclined her head at Cassian’s bow, offering him and his father a charming smile. Duchess Sibyl followed suit, though she said nothing, only smiled lazily.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” Aela said, extending a gloved hand for Cassian’s father to kiss. “I’m sure your travels have been taxing. Please, allow one of the maids to show you to your quarters to get your belongings situated before we sit down for morning tea.”
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 17:52:02 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 17:52:02 GMT -5
If anything, Aela's composed expression and charming smile only made Cassian's stomach turn. All his life he had hoped that once he finally became old enough, he could run off somewhere else. That was the only blessing of being a middle son; he had no expectations for him back in the day, and he had hoped to just leave Lacaille for Nyre or Maline or something but the pretty girl in front of him only made his heart sink. He was going to be tied down for the rest of his life after today. No more parties, no more exploration, no more fun, just politics and pleasantries.
He'd give anything to escape right now.
Part of him–and he knew it was an unreasonable part too–almost resented his new fiancee for the situation they were both in. He knew she probably had no choice either, but she was a queen. She probably had at least more of a say than he did. He watched his father kiss the girl's hand, exchanging pleasantries like the man always did. He was the politician, the brain behind the success of the Rotherhithe family.
Cassian certainly wasn't. As Aela spoke, he was about to reply with a thank you, just to get out of this awkward space and find a bathroom or something to breathe a little, but his father beat him to it. Giving Cassian a dangerous smile that told him to stay quiet, the man turned to the ladies.
"Oh that would be lovely. We actually had a pretty uneventful journey here; luckily, the roads have been plenty safer with our new deal; my security teams are already making journeys like this easier for everyone." As the servants came to grab their things, his father gestured towards the carriage carrying practically all of Cassian's things. They'd handle all the hard work, after all.
"Morning tea sounds excellent; it'll be a good way to let you two meet and chat, just so you can get to know each other before tonight, no?" the man smiled, "you'll be having a busy day celebrating, and I'm sure having a bit of time alone might do you two well."
Of course they wouldn't be alone, but pleasantries were pleasantries. Cassian gave Aela a faint smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
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Jan 30, 2021 18:21:18 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 18:21:18 GMT -5
"Lovely," Aela said, watching with a smile as the father son duo were escorted to their quarters. She had just met them, but she already felt like she needed a break. This at least gave her a chance to escape to her own room, to stand in front of her mirror and stare at herself for a long moment, without her aunt's eyes on her. What am I doing? Was her loudest, misery-ridden thought. That boy doesn't even want to be here. And I'm marrying him. It was a far cry from the romances of her novels, which sparkled with wit and chemistry. There were so many things off limits to her that she was not surprised love made the list.
Aela tucked an errant curl behind her ear, staring herself down sternly. The gold of her eyes reminded her of her father, which helped calm her nerves. If he were alive, he would tell her to do what she had to do. It wouldn't be so bad, in the end. She lifted a hand to her chin, cupping it like he used to to remind herself of her duty.
The Queen that met the pair in one of the many grand salons of the castle was a charming one once again. Clothed in her day dress of pale gold and sheer mint hues, she smiled at Cassian as trays of finger sandwiches were brought out along with the teacups. "Tell me about yourself, Lord Rotherhithe," she said, lifting a dainty rosebud teacup with her long brown fingers as their chaperones chatted about the weather. "What do you do in your free time?"
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 18:41:06 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 18:41:06 GMT -5
What am I doing? was the same thought running through Cassian's head. If he had been any braver in his youth, he'd have run away with his school boy friends the moment his father had turned towards him, but here he was because he was too scared to disobey the man. Did he really want this? Tied to a life of pretending to be happy and ruling a country he didn't even like all that much? Under the watchful eye of the priests and priestesses, acting as if he was meant to be this person he'd never be?
The moment he stepped into his room and the doors closed behind him he let out a deep sigh. Thank god he didn't need to share a room with the man; standing near him had always been stifling but this was actually choking the life out of him. "How the fuck am I going to survive this?" he groaned to himself as he fell onto the bed, making angels shapes with his arms and legs like he did in the beach by his home. He already missed it too. He missed his friends, his room, even the bloody cat that kept trying to sneak into their home. At least back home, he could walk around freely, eating whatever fruit he found in the kitchen dressed in his boxers, but here? He had to keep up some kind of impression to everyone.
Including your future wife, the voice in his head spoke. Wife. He barely knew the girl, and getting married meant no more sneaking around. Spirits, he had never felt so out of his depth. He was grateful for the pitcher of water by the table, gulping it down as he took off his outer coat, tossing it onto the chair before switching it out for another one in a deep purple. They had to make a good impression after all.
It didn't take long for him to join the others at the table. A quick 'excuse me' and he was sliding into his seat, still avoiding Aela's gaze as the food arrived. Frankly, he'd be happy to just keep staring at the sandwiches instead of at the older fairies talking about how great their pairing was. He was halfway through a sandwich when the queen addressed him.
How the hell was he supposed to address her anyway? My queen sounded way too formal for a girl he was to marry in seven hours. Not to mention the question didn't sound right either; oh yes, my queen, I spend most of my time going out to parties and getting as drunk as I can to avoid my responsibilities. No that wasn't going to work.
"I–uhh enjoy...swimming." He cringed; that was a horrible lie. He liked the beach but it was more about people watching really. He looked up to Aela, his cheeks tinged pink. "Um what are your hobbies, your majesty?" God he was making a farce out of all of this.
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Jan 30, 2021 19:01:27 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 19:01:27 GMT -5
"Swimming is a great hobby," Aela reassured him, smiling. "I don't get to do much of it myself, but I suppose your time in Vela would lend itself to that. Personally I enjoy reading, and walking in the gardens." She didn't say that that was all she was really allowed to do, apart from supervised trips to the market or ornate religious celebrations.
Duchess Sibyl- sister of the late Queen- seemed rather bored by it all. She was not bound by as many restrictions as Aela, seeing as she was not the monarch and as she was a Shadow fairy. Still, she kept a close eye on Aela- not that the new Queen did much straying from the rules.
Aela looked sideways at her aunt with a smile before turning back to Cassian. "Do you read at all, my lord?" She knew the tea would not last long, with the many preparations needed before the wedding, but it was already a struggle to fill the brief silence. What would married life be like?
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 19:19:25 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 19:19:25 GMT -5
Cassian could feel his father practically glaring at him, as if he was expecting something else from his son. He certainly had never been the outgoing one nor the kind of guy girls desired; why did the man expect anything different? He nodded as she spoke, listening to her words. Walking in the gardens, huh? He had wondered what the royal gardens would look like. Surprisingly, he actually did enjoy living among the flowers. It wasn't exactly a hobby–they had a gardener back home–but his mother had always been one to enjoy breakfast in the gardens.
She had told him that flowers could be protection sometimes, that they remember their protectors and their carers, and that they cleanse the space of bad energy and absorb curses from one's enemies. Cassian didn't exactly believe in it but he understood what she meant; his mother had lived in Kama. Fairies over there had weirder beliefs, at least.
"That sounds nice," he offered, biting his lip as she asked another question. Did he read? It had been a while since he read anything for fun. As a child, he had gone through books like no other, but as he grew older, he had preferred leaving the house whenever possible, lest his father or tutor came after him for not being studious enough.
"A little," he replied, "I enjoyed a lot of fiction when I was young, and I do enjoy dabbling in classics now and then." He already felt like he was boring her, but then again, it wasn't like this was ever going to be exciting. He found the eyes on the back of his head stifling, and he was sure she felt it too, even if she seemed more used to it than he was. "What kind of books do you read?" He was trying hard to be attentive, but he didn't see them finding anything of interest anytime soon.
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Jan 30, 2021 19:52:34 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 19:52:34 GMT -5
"All kinds," she responded truthfully. Literature was her only way to escape the reality of her life. "I often get lost in novels, or in history books, or cookbooks, though I've never cooked myself." Aela sipped her tea quietly, not mentioning that her favorite kind of book was a thrilling romance. It would just make Cassian uncomfortable.
They found other things to fill the half hour discussing- the weather, the city, the Rotherhithe's business. Throughout it all, Aela was queenly as she could be. She smiled, laughed, and chatted with the appropriate timing, under the watchful eyes of their chaperones. Even so, it was eventually time to leave. Wedding preparations must be completed in the few hours remaining.
After bidding them a good afternoon, Aela was escorted back to her room to prepare for the wedding. Her wedding dress was splendid- gold patterned on ivory- and the customary gold scaling that encased her arms stood out beautifully against her rich brown skin. A handmaiden wove gold-dipped flowers into her curls, and Aela felt just a tad conceited about her beauty as she looked in the mirror. Of course, the beauty was a waste on an unwilling King, but it was nice to feel like she was walking down the aisle to the wedding of her dreams.
After the High Priestess blessed Aela in her bedchambers, she was escorted to the grand hall, which had been decorated over the last few days with elaborate flower and fern arrangements from ceiling to floor. The guests- an assortment of nobility and foreign missionaries- were seated on marble benches, watching with delighted smiles as the procession began.
The bridesmaids were the cousins and single younger sister of the Queen, fanning out in an orderly line next to the sweating groom and his groomsmen. Lastly, Aela came up the aisle on the arm of her uncle, and was swiftly married to Cassian Rotherhithe- now Cassian Sutcliffe. The ceremony went by in a blur for the nervous Queen, and quite suddenly the High Priestess was pronouncing them husband and wife, and telling Cassian to kiss his bride.
Her golden gaze lifted to his nervously, waiting expectantly for her first kiss, which she had been dutifully saving for this day, to gift to this complete stranger. It was not expected for brides to be pure maidens these days, but her father had held that expectation, and Aela had never wanted to disappoint her father.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 20:14:32 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 20:14:32 GMT -5
Despite having been hungry, Cassian didn't seem to eat much that morning. The conversations were all well-versed; he had plenty of practice during his father's great dinners with other delegates and politicians of their city, and he simply needed to nod along and say what was expected of him. At least she didn't ask him much more about his hobbies; the way his father looked at him made him squirm whenever she tried to get to know him. As much as he missed home, he had to admit things would be a little more comfortable without the watchful eye of the Rotherhithe patriarch.
Teatime never felt as long as this one, but before he could even feel comfortable, he was whisked away for preparations. Spirits, they really didn't waste any time did they? He was brought to his room, servants and butlers mulling over him, fitting him into the outfit for the actual ceremony. The fitted coat, another deep indigo one–with its patterned collar, ruffled sleeves, and padded shoulders to make him seem a little more muscular–seemed strange on his skin. If it was for any other event, he'd love a coat like this, fitted so well it accentuated his shape. As they fit the customary jewelry–silver instead of gold as per custom–he glanced at himself in the mirror, tugging at the lace collar of the shirt underneath. Everything just felt a little too itchy and he wasn't sure if it was the nerves or the fabric.
One of the servants tried to remove one of his silver earrings in order to change it for another. "Leave it," he snapped, as the young woman took a step back, apologizing for her misstep. He sighed, taking a seat in front of the mirror again. He looked nothing like himself. He turned to the fairy trying to sort out his face. "Do you have any kohl?" he asked. She handed him the vial, and he moved closer to the mirror. There was no way he could truly stand up to his father, but if he couldn't decide anything for the rest of his life, at least he could do something on his own terms. The man always hated it when he wore make up. Dusting the small amount on his eyelids, he gave his reflection a small smirk. At least he could pretend he was just going out for a night with his friends instead of tying himself down for the rest of his life. The wine better be fucking fantastic tonight.
As the servants and priests and everyone else ushered him towards the chapel, he only had a brief moment to see his father again. The man glanced at his face with a moment of hesitation, and for a moment, he wondered if the man was going to comment on what he did. "Make us proud, son," the man declared, patting him on the shoulder, as they headed inside, taking their rightful places to await the queen. His eyes met the rest of the family, a smiling mother and a sister that seemed almost too gleeful to see him suffer like this.
Time seemed to pass impossibly quick, and the next moment, he was holding the queen's hand. You may kiss the bride. He didn't mean to hesitate when he stared into her golden eyes, but he felt so ready to flee. He wasn't ready for this. Still, the figure of the large man in the corner of his eye meant that there was no backing out.
He pressed his lips against hers, a fumbling sort of kiss, more awkward and tentative than anything.
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Jan 30, 2021 20:31:10 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 20:31:10 GMT -5
Aela closed her eyes for the kiss, able to pretend for a moment that the warm lips against hers belonged to a man who wanted to marry her in the first place. But when Cassian pulled away and her eyes opened again the illusion was shattered by the fraught nerves visible in his gaze.
There was no time to be disappointed- there was the receiving line, then the dinner where she sat beside her new husband at the table in the front of the room. Plenty of guests overindulged in the alcohol that circulated the room, Aela included, as they gorged on meats and bread and sweets and honey. There were a few toasts, and plenty of songs from the bards and band. The hour was late when the crowd began to disperse.
A few family members came up, laughing, to escort the intoxicated young couple to the Queen's bedroom. Aela felt herself ushered along by her aunt, who brought her glass of mead with her they walked. They pushed the couple unceremoniously into the room, closing the door behind them, and Aela found herself suddenly completely alone with her husband.
A burning stole into her cheeks, flush with the thought that she would now have to undress in front of Cassian. "Can you... can you go into the bathroom?" She asked, feeling a little unsteady on her feet. "I guess- I guess I can undress here and get into the bed and you can blow out the candle on your way in." If she had to do this, she would willingly, but she did not want him to see her bare body. It seemed too... intimate.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 20:52:53 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 20:52:53 GMT -5
At least she kissed back, Cassian thought, as he pulled away, immediately avoiding Aela's gaze. It felt weird to be honest. It wasn't that Cassian had never kissed anyone, he was just used to...well, kissing boys. His skinny frame and awkwardness wasn't the reason why he wasn't a lady's man. He wouldn't say he had never felt attraction to a woman but frankly, he just felt more at ease with the boys. It was another reminder of what he was giving up for this.
Spirits he needed a drink. Throughout the dinner, he indulged in wine more than anything, his stomach still turning in knots. He could see the look of disapproval his father tossed him but he couldn't care. It wasn't his life that he was throwing away. On his fourth glass of mead, he could already feel the comforting buzz of faded voices and silence fill his head, the room feeling a little dimmer and his nerves a little less shot. Maybe in a regular wedding, he was supposed to talk to his wife more, but this wasn't really the case. Not a lot of his friends made it to the banquet, but the one or two that came with their important families seemed to have plenty to say, or at least they hinted it. It wasn't exactly etiquette to chat with them instead of pretending to be the happy wedded couple and accepting gifts or praises, but it was his only escape.
Frankly, he was exhausted, and the wine didn't help. As the guests thinned out and the remaining members whispered among themselves, pushing the young couple towards the bedrooms, he still seemed unaware until the doors locked behind him, and he was left staring at Aela in a daze.
"The bathroom?" he asked, his head tilted slightly, before his eyes widened in realisation. Oh. He had forgotten about that. Fuck. Were they...expected to consummate their marriage so soon? He hadn't even thought about it until now, and his cheeks heated up into a red, even more so than the dusting of alcohol-induced pink on his cheeks.
"Uh....yeah let me just–" he gestured towards the bathroom before awkwardly letting his hands fall back to his sides, as he turned away. She probably wanted some privacy, right? He cringed; this was going to be weird. How was he going to do this? Had she ever done this before? He wasn't exactly experienced in this either.
"Um..." he had been ready to ask, but the question fizzled out as he peeked at her for a moment, before turning away again, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, "have you...done this before?"
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Jan 30, 2021 21:04:14 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 21:04:14 GMT -5
"No," Aela admitted quietly, watching him undo the buttons on his shirt. "I-You were my first kiss." She wondered if he had any experience either, or if he was as nervous as she was. She knew little, but she knew it was easier for men the first time. She waited until she had a second of privacy before she undressed as well, stripping completely despite the nervousness coursing through her body.
As quickly as she could, she retreated to the protection the bed provided, her soft skin brushing against the silk sheets. When Cassian turned back, she was holding the sheets to her chest, covering the intimate areas of her body. She kept her eyes on his upper body, working hard to control her breathing.
He was attractive, certainly. Under different circumstances, Aela would be glad to be losing her virginity to him. If they could laugh together, if they had a connection... it would be easier. But here they both were, watching the spaces over each others shoulders to avoid eye contact. "You can- you can get in bed now," she said breathily, motioning to the empty half of her bed.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 21:16:00 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 21:16:00 GMT -5
He was her first kiss? Cassian almost felt sympathy for the girl; what kind of sadist spirit would let a queen lose her virginity like this? He almost wanted to apologize to her, but that would've just made it all the more awkward. Pulling down his pants, he could feel his skin prickle in the cold air...or was it even the breeze? He couldn't tell whether it was his own nervousness or not. She must be more nervous than he was too. He wasn't a virgin, despite his inexperience in this specific field.
Stripping off the rest of his clothes, he glanced back towards Aela. She was already under the covers. Cassian wasn't exactly shy, but her nervousness was contagious. Suddenly, he felt embarrassed; she probably grew up imagining herself marrying a handsome hunky prince like his brother, and instead she got...well, this. He quickly moved towards the bed, entering into the sheets from the opposite side, still keeping that distance between them, both physically and metaphorically.
"Um," he swallowed thickly. Where did they even begin? "I guess...uh, I just don't want to make you uncomfortable..." He bit his lip, really looking at her face for the first time that night. Were they always going to be this awkward. "Guess we should be happy we don't have the elders watching us do this, huh?" he tried to make a joke but it fell flat, his own nervousness spreading from his fingertips to the rest of his body. Where should they start anyway?
His teeth met his lower lip again, as he ran a hand through his hair. "May I kiss you again?" he asked shyly. Maybe if he could pretend he was just at a fancy underground party with someone else, it wouldn't feel as weird.
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Jan 30, 2021 21:32:39 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 21:32:39 GMT -5
The Queen could appreciate that he was as nervous as he was, that he was trying to make her comfortable with this inherently uncomfortable experience. There was something there that she hadn't expected- lying naked beside another warm body did make her body tingle in anticipation of something- and the alcohol helped.
"Okay," she agreed with a faint smile, inching ever so slightly closer to Cassian and tilting her head up so he could kiss her. Aela wished she were bolder, so she could reach out and touch his cheek, or place her hand on the smooth skin of his chest. She was curious, despite it all, to know what it felt like to touch another human being. As it was, she held back, waiting for him to direct the events of the night.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 21:45:15 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 21:45:15 GMT -5
He could feel his face flush warm, as she moved so he could kiss her. He sucked in a breath, praying to the spirits that he wouldn't completely fuck this up, and pressed his lips against hers once more. Her lips were...warm. Not unpleasant. It was different from his usual type–people at the clubs were often way too eager–but he could work with different. His teeth grazed her lip, as if seeking to deepen the kiss a little more. He wondered if she had ever imagined doing this with her husband; would this always be awkward and strange, or would she know what to do?
Cassian couldn't even remember what it was like to have a first kiss; frankly he couldn't remember his own. It was probably meant to be special for a girl like her, and he didn't really want to think about how disappointing all of this must be.
Ignoring the tumultuous thoughts that roamed his head, he slid his hand up her side, trying to make her more comfortable. Her skin was soft, he thought, as he pulled her a little closer, pulling away from the kiss.
"Is this okay?" he asked, his hands already wandering along her body, stopping at her breast, "if–mm, you can tell me what you want me to do, if it makes you more comfortable."
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Jan 30, 2021 21:55:41 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 21:55:41 GMT -5
His hands were on her- she couldn't remember the last time anyone touched her beyond a handshake or a maid pinning up her curls. It was alien and also exciting, the way he touched her. A thrill moved up her spine, and instinctively she moved closer, allowing him easier access to her skin.
And for a second kiss, this wasn't bad. At least one of them seemed experienced in that area. Tentatively, she reached up, grazing her fingertips across his cheekbones as he touched her. "That's nice," she agreed with a breathless laugh. "But I really can't tell you what to do because I don't know exactly how this works." She knew the fundamentals, but no one had told her about this build-up, about how her body would respond to being touched. Even she was surprised, to be honest. "You're a good kisser," she said, though she had nothing to compare it to.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 22:16:21 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 22:16:21 GMT -5
Well if anything, at least this wasn't as painfully awkward as their morning tea. Awkward still, yes, but not painfully so. He let out a small laugh. "I'm kinda unsure myself," he admitted, "I've....never been anyone's first time I guess." Usually, his lovers were just as–if not more–experienced than he was. It was kind of strange, but he swallowed his own feeling over all of it. He was here to try to make it as painless for her as possible, right?
He blushed at the compliment, before pressing his lips to hers again. Except this time, he didn't linger, a chaste kiss and another to the side of her mouth, and another to her jaw, his hand gave another squeeze of her breast before continuing with his own exploration, smoothing across her stomach.
"Um....you can touch me if you want too," he mumbled, embarrassment making his ears warm as he glanced away momentarily; looking at her face for so long felt too intimate.
Cassian didn't really know what to expect, but tentative fingers slowed at her hips, giving her ass a squeeze before finding their destination at the crux of her thighs, grazing his teeth along her neck and collarbone. He was surprised to find her already wet. Well at least it'd be easier for her this way.
He would've asked if she was ready, except for the one small problem; he wasn't exactly hard yet. Maybe it was the pressure or the alcohol–or the fact that you haven't looked at a girl this way in years, the voice in his head admonished–but he wasn't quite ready yet.
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Jan 30, 2021 22:35:24 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 22:35:24 GMT -5
At the invitation to touch him, Aela's hands began their own exploration. It was not often that she could touch another person freely. Every move had to be calculated, appropriate, and nonchalant. But now her hands wandered, twining in his hair and skimming along his arms and hips and chest with abandon. With her lowered inhibitions and his open invitation, she felt free to explore.
She leaned forward, pressing unsure kisses to his jaw and collarbones, to his shoulders and neck. No one had told her how to do this, and yet she found herself curious about what touching and kissing someone else felt like. Finally, her touch found its way to Cassian's key appendage of the night, his disco stick (sdajkdh). Tentatively, she ran her fingers along it, pulling away to look up at Cassian.
"Do we... uh, you know... now?" She asked, not well informed enough to know that it was supposed to be harder than it was.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 30, 2021 22:48:13 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 30, 2021 22:48:13 GMT -5
Despite her inexperience, she seemed to pick up rather quickly. He felt the warmth grow as she began to explore, her curious hands and kisses making his body feel warmer than usual. She wasn't half bad, and he felt himself warming up rather quickly now, and even more so once her hand reached its destination.
He sucked in a breath as she touched his dick, though it wasn't nearly enough to get him ready for their next step. If his face wasn't bright red back then, it certainly was now. Aela seemed unaware that this wasn't exactly going according to his plan. Dammit, why couldn't he be ready? It wasn't like he couldn't get hard; he was your average teenage boy. More often than not, his dick made the decisions instead of his brain anyway. Was it just performance anxiety?
"Uh, I need to...you know, get hard?" he didn't really know how to explain, "just give me a second, let me–" He tried to rub one out, but his body seemed intent on not obeying him. He usually knew exactly what to do, but in this bed, with the exhaustion and all of the expectations heaped onto him, his hand only felt rough and grating rather than pleasurable. Think of that sexy hunk he was staring at a few weeks back with his friends, think of that time they were in Nyre.
"Shit," he mumbled, only half hard, looking at Aela apologetically, "I'm uh...it usually goes a bit faster than this, I swear."
He wasn't sure what the problem was . 'Yeah you do,' the voice in the back of his head spoke knowingly.
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Jan 30, 2021 22:55:58 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 30, 2021 22:55:58 GMT -5
"That's okay," Aela said, suddenly worrying that she was the problem. "Uh- well, can I do anything?" She took note of the way he touched himself, filing that away for future reference. Maybe... maybe he wasn't into women at all? If that was the case, Aela felt worse for feeling so eager to go further. Still, the marriage had to be consummated. Right?
Her hand joined his, trying to coax things along. Still, she wondered why she wasn't enough- she wondered if she once again had unrealistic expectations to measure up to, even in her marriage bed. After a lengthy amount of time, with two people working on it, Cassian seemed to be... what had he called it? Hard? "Is that enough?" She asked, lifting her hands to touch his chest again. However, where she had once been more forward she was now tentative again, her mind plaguing her with doubt- clearly she wasn't affecting him physically, the way he had affected her.
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