▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Jan 31, 2021 18:43:54 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 31, 2021 18:43:54 GMT -5
Honestly, he didn't really know how to act in front of Aela. Part of him had hoped this would feel more natural, more normal but it seemed like it was never going to. Everything she wanted to talk about was always work, work, work. Why couldn't she talk about anything else? Other than the few brief questions they had asked each other at the beginning, he knew nothing about her other than what she expected of him. No friends, no childhood memories, no jokes...even meeting new kids in another region was easier than this. Part of him had hoped that once it was just the two of them, they could...who knows, relax a bit, act like they were two teenagers–albeit teenagers forced to get married–and just talk like real people did.
His jaw tightened as he let out a slow breath from his nose. Here he was, in a position where it was just the two of them and it was exactly like talking to his father. Always commands; do this, do that, no talking back. It had always been 'children were to be seen not heard.' If he ever had his own kids–which he had never really desired in the first place–he had hoped that they'd lead different lives. Perhaps they'd be able to explore the world in their own way. Perhaps he'd love them the way his father never did.
Distaste filled his mouth as he realized that if he'd ever have kids, it would just be another thing he wouldn't have a choice about. He'd be expected to fulfil his fatherly duties and nothing else. Did kings and queens even love their children? After seeing the rest of the nobles and how many of their kids were so similar to him, he was starting to doubt any of them had feelings other than filial piety. Aela felt just as cold and guarded and obligated as everyone else did.
"Yes, your highness," he replied in a clipped tone, "whatever you wish." He continued to eat as if nothing happened. Whatever small talk he had tried to think of was now far from his mind.
"I don't suppose there will be an opportunity to learn the...layout of the castle while I'm here? Or did you have an itinerary for me today?"
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Jan 31, 2021 18:54:47 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 31, 2021 18:54:47 GMT -5
"I am not your keeper," Aela said coolly. At least he was compliant now. It made fulfilling her duties easier. "Before Erien meets you this afternoon you are free to wander the castle." Two days in and she was surrendering her expectations of a happy marriage- at least it let her establish the boundaries now.
"And apart from our weekly marital obligations and public appearances, you need not do anything more than sleep beside me at night," she continued, as if she were discussing the weather instead of their marriage. "It's better for us to lay this all out now, rather than wonder about it secretly. Your time is your own apart from the few duties Erien will give you. All I ask is that you not embarrass me by being public with your distaste for me and for this life."
Aela set her jaw, looking up again at Cassian. Her heart hung heavy in her chest, but all that shone through her gaze was a solemn guardedness. This was his life, and the quicker he got over himself the better. She had not asked for any of this either, but it was the hand she was dealt. She could handle it, and he could learn to. She would not baby him any more- she had never been babied, had never been indulged when she cried, had never been tenderly seen to. Her life was work- it always had been, and it always would be. That was what duty was.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
Administrator
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Jan 31, 2021 19:08:21 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 31, 2021 19:08:21 GMT -5
Cassian's lips almost twitched in amusement at her words. So she did feel things. Surprise. A couple of hours huh? That, he could work with. At least they were finally getting around to the elephant in the room. Weekly obligations, public appearances, sleeping, got it. He almost winced at the idea, but it was a fair compromise. So she really did want them to have offspring. He felt a bitter taste on his tongue at the thought of having children; he was still young. Not too long ago he had assumed that the moment he was of age, he'd be able to travel past the borders of this said kingdom, to see the world and sail to even the most farthest regions. He had always wanted to see the mountains of Heizoek and the glaciers of Guivre, but that dream just kept crumbling in front of him.
His friends would be home, starting their ventures or going out with the other girls in town, having the time of their lives being young, dumb and free, and now he was left out of it. A sigh left his mouth; he had never wanted to be tied down but it seemed like the future had different plans.
At least he knew what rubbed her wrong. She didn't want to be embarrassed. Cassian truly wouldn't be himself if he didn't take advantage of that knowledge. He gave her a sarcastic bow. "Yes ma'am," he smirked.
He'd file that in for a future reference; after all, he only needed to be here to make sure his father got the few trade deals he proposed, no? Despite the cultural clause of two years, he knew they were stuck like this forever. Rarely did that happen in a case of a royal wedding unless the church had its grievances. With the church taking money from his fathers' pockets, that was unlikely to pass, and well, the crown needed their family's fortune to fund their ventures.
"I suppose since our marriage is all a show, we won't be consulting each other on our day to day lives," he mused. While it seemed a simple statement, there was certainly an underlying tone to it. If she didn't care about what–or who–he'd get up to in his own time, he wouldn't expect her faithfulness either.
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Jan 31, 2021 19:16:48 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 31, 2021 19:16:48 GMT -5
"I suppose not," Aela said, watching his smirk with disappointed eyes. What else had she expected? Hesitation? Him to fight for this pathetic excuse of a marriage? No, she hadn't expected it. But still, it hurt all the same how quickly he had accepted her proposal.
No, she did not expect fidelity. Often nobility had their side arrangements. It was not a common thing to be in love and monogamous in the elite ranks. "Though I expect there to be no... accidents... of any sort that could lead to a competing claim to the throne in the future." No bastards. She didn't think he'd hook up with women anyway- but if he did, she did not want the nuisance of half-blood children challenging the line of succession.
"Though I hope you fill your free time with things that get your blood running more than I could." Aela set down her fork, raising her napkin to pat at her lips. "And I'll fill mine with things that actually bring me pleasure." The quip was short and pointed, but empty. If Aela could not find happiness within her marriage, what sexual encounter would be fulfilling? Was it like this for all women? How disappointing.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
Administrator
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Jan 31, 2021 19:31:46 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Jan 31, 2021 19:31:46 GMT -5
At least they were on the same page here too. "Oh of course not," he spoke, the faint sense of sarcasm slipping into his mouth like a mother tongue, "I wouldn't dream of embarrassing you like that. What would the nobles think." His voice was in the same deadpan it had been before. It wasn't like he'd hook up with the other maids or noble girls either, but the guards...well, they were pretty hunky. His best friend used to tease him about how he could just visit Cato when he was working as a captain to hook up with the other soldiers.
Well if she didn't mind, why not? He bit back the desire to show his irritation at the comment from Aela. Oh yeah? He scoffed, that made two of them, he supposed. How anyone expected them to be a happy couple truly escaped his line of thought; they couldn't even fulfil each other with the basest needs.
"I hope you do," he quipped back, his expression stony, a gleam in his eye almost seeking revenge, "I'm sorry if I disappointed you on our wedding night, but maybe you'll find someone else you can please better than me."
At least disliking her felt more alive than the passive tiptoeing they were doing just a day before. Knowing where to aim his rage towards this current situation made everything a lot easier. If she had no expectations from him, then so be it. It wasn't like anyone ever had expectations from him in the first place.
Ringing the bell for a maid, he turned to the young lady waiting on them. "Could you please get me a glass of wine?" he asked, before glancing towards Aela with a smug look on his face, "I'd like to start the day off with an aperitif of some sort. It'll make the day go by much better." If he was going to be king, he might as well make the most of it.
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Jan 31, 2021 19:43:19 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Jan 31, 2021 19:43:19 GMT -5
Aela flushed faintly, grateful it wasn't visible on her dark skin. That was hardly her fault- she had been a virgin! At least now she knew Cassian's true nature. There would be no more beating around the bush. When the maid turned towards Aela as if questioning the order, Aela waved her hand.
"You heard the king. Get him his wine. Spirits know he needs it."
The rest of the breakfast was spent in an angry kind of silence, at least on Aela's part. She did not speak again, choosing to focus on finishing her food. When she was done, she gave Cassian a curt goodbye, sweeping from the room to find solace in the corner of the library she had used as a hiding spot from childhood.
It was tucked away in the back wing, and the books muffled the sounds. No one really came back here except her, and she had spent her happiest hours pouring over a good book. She retreated to her well-worn armchair in the back right of the room, trying to steady the erratic beating of her heart. Her hands moved over the cover of her favorite book, fingering the leather cover and wiping away the few salty splashes that dripped from her chin onto it.
Her father's words echoed in her memory. Shameful. She thought to herself, stopping the waterworks. With that, she opened her book, trying to lose herself in a story much happier than her own.
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