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Feb 28, 2021 18:53:52 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Feb 28, 2021 18:53:52 GMT -5
( backstory 1) ( backstory 2)
Elise felt less like herself every day.
It had been several weeks since the nightmare had began, when she and Cato had parted, when she had seduced Lord Wharton, when she had given her body reluctantly to protect herself and her growing child. Just two months ago, life had been a sea of opportunity. She had been happy, in a stable relationship, and each day sparkled with possibility and excitement.
Now it was bleak and gray around her. Lord Wharton was a cruel lover, and his first taste of her tears made him hungry for more. If she didn't cry when he took her, he would pinch and pull and twist parts of her until she did. Every time she let him inside her, she felt dirtier, more used up, more revolted with herself. More nights than not, her pillowcase was damp with tears.
He wasn't an entirely cruel man outside the bedroom. He took her on dates, and their stilted and cold conversation filled the silence. Elise was sure he just liked people seeing a young and pretty girl on his arm. There was already talk about them among the lesser nobles.
Tonight's dinner was at a restaurant popular among the nobility. Elise was wearing the sun dress she had worn to the beach with Cato, in a small act of rebellion against this older man. They entered and were seated out on the balcony, lit by lanterns and the summer evening light. Elise brushed her fingers against the leather bracelet she still couldn't bring herself to take off, sitting and examining the menu.
There was a familiar laugh a few tables away, and Elise raised her head, green eyes alarmed as she took in Carina, returning from the restroom. If she was here... Elise's eyes moved to the table she was heading towards, and the lump in her throat turned suffocating as she spotted Cato's dark head of curls. Had he seen her?
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Feb 28, 2021 19:50:57 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Feb 28, 2021 19:50:57 GMT -5
Turns out he had gotten into training camp, and not just training camp too. His father finally got the meeting to introduce him to the young princess, soon to be queen. It certainly was a cause for celebration; his father had taken them out for dinner, along with his friends. They had booked the entire balcony area for the night, and the man had been surprisingly gracious. Whatever had happened between them that fateful night seemed to have blown over, and it seemed as if everything was back to normal.
Well, sort of normal anyway. Cato had seemed more subdued the last couple of weeks. Even his friends had noticed, that he wasn't laughing along to their jokes as much, that he seemed much more distant, more removed from their usual conversations. His father must've noticed, but it seemed as if it didn't matter to the man. Surprisingly, the biggest difference seemed to be that he and his siblings actually got along better. He was sitting with them and the friends that were invited for his celebration dinner, when one of them leaned over in a whisper.
"Hey Cato, isn't that the girl you were into a few weeks back? Dude, I think she's having dinner with Lord Wharton," one of them spoke, gesturing to behind them.
"Oh what was her name again? The commoner right? Elaine? Elsie? Elena?"
"Elise?" Cassian spoke, his shy voice making Cato look up. Elise? She was here?
"No fucking way, isn't he married?" one of his friends made a disgusted expression.
"You don't think she's...you know...looking for a sugar daddy or something, right? I thought she had money; she's in our class you know. Can't believe these commoners, how can she trade down so–"
"Shut up," Cato snapped, giving the boy next to him a glare as the other kid held his hands up in surrender. His eyes searched the space until it landed on the familiar brunette, hair curled neatly in the familiar way she always tied it back. He felt his heart sink. There was no way she'd actually do this, right? The man was married, not to mention she could do so much better than that. Even if she believed she was only good enough for the old, lesser-known lords, Lord Wharton? Seriously?
He stood up, his teeth gritted. "Give me a second, I'm going to the bathroom," he seethed.
"You're not going to talk to her, are you?" one of his friends asked, eyes gleaming with excitement at the coming drama, "you're going to cause a scene if you do, especially if she's trying to get with that guy."
"I'm not going to cause a scene," his voice was deathly calm as he walked towards Elise, his eyes purposefully avoiding her, up until he was next to her table, his foot catching the table slightly, enough to cause a glass of water fall onto the ground, breaking against the tiled floor, the wait staff immediately moving into motion to fix the problem.
"Whoops," he spoke, though his tone held no remorse or apology at all. To a spectator, it might've sounded nonchalant, but anyone who knew Cato knew the mocking tone, the sneer in the back of his throat. "You should be more careful with your drinks, Lord Wharton. If it was wine and I was someone else, my suit would've been ruined and rumours might fly."
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Feb 28, 2021 20:02:41 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Feb 28, 2021 20:02:41 GMT -5
Oh gods, Elise thought. Cato was coming over to do... something. She didn't see him avoiding her gaze, as she was too busy avoiding his. This was embarrassing, truly, to be seen by him and his friends in the company of this man. She wanted to leave, to go home and bury her face in her pillow again. She lifted her hand to rub her forehead as the water glass broke- the same arm that still wore the lover stone on it.
"My apologies, Cato," Lord Wharton responded, though his dark eyes were displeased. "It's a good thing that neither I nor Elise drink, or that could have been unfortunate." He wasn't sure why this arrogant young Lord was bumping into their table, but it certainly all seemed beneath him.
Elise stared down at the table as Cato moved on towards the restrooms. A flash of anger flared in her throat. Wasn't this already mortifying enough for her? Did he have to rub it in? "I have to use the restroom, my Lord," she said to Lord Wharton, getting up and out of her seat to follow Cato.
The restrooms were down a back hallway. Elise grabbed Cato's arm, pulling him to a stop. "What's your issue?" She demanded in an irritated tone. When he turned to her, however, there was no anger in her gaze- and the bags under her eyes were certainly darker than normal. If anything, the dull green gaze seemed to be pleading with him- let this go.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Feb 28, 2021 20:13:48 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Feb 28, 2021 20:13:48 GMT -5
It was hard to hold in his anger, especially when she was wearing that dress. He knew he had no right to feel this way, but it felt like a vast betrayal, that she'd wear this dress–the dress she had worn on their first real date–on a date with a lord who was old enough to be her father.
"What's your problem?" he hissed, the hurt clear in his eyes, "I just tripped, but now that you're here? What the hell? Okay sure, I don't own you or anything, and I guess this means you broke up with me, but damn. Wearing that dress and that bracelet while going on a date with someone like that is low, especially for you." He shook his head in disbelief.
"You won't even fucking talk to me, and...god Elise, I can't do this," he growled, "I don't know if you're doing this on purpose just to fuck me over or whether you're actually settling for someone like him. He has a wife and you could do so much better than some creep like mister sour face over there, and honestly? I don't know which one's worse, whether you're actually going out with that guy or doing all of this just to get back at me."
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Feb 28, 2021 20:22:53 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Feb 28, 2021 20:22:53 GMT -5
Was that what he thought of her? Elise took a step back, steadying her shaking hands by her sides. "I'm not fucking you over, Cato," she said, a flare of anger in her gaze. "I didn't even know you'd be here! If I knew, I'd never have come."
He was right, though. It was low of her to keep the mementos of them while screwing Lord Wharton. The green eyes dropped to the floor, a heavy kind of sadness creeping into her sagging shoulders. "You have no idea..." She whispered hoarsely. "No idea what I have to do. You couldn't understand."
"Do you think I want to be with Wharton? He disgusts me! I can't- I don't- I can't stop myself from thinking about you, from wanting to be with you again." Elise shouldn't say it, shouldn't make this worse, but these few weeks had been hell. All she wanted was to be back in Cato's arms, and here he was verbalizing all the thoughts that had rampaged in her head. "If I had any choice at all, I'd stay with you. But you and I- we don't get that choice. We don't get a say."
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Feb 28, 2021 20:36:20 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Feb 28, 2021 20:36:20 GMT -5
The anger dissipated so quickly, and all of a sudden, he was just left with a look of desperation, of confusion on his face. "I don't understand," he frowned, his brow furrowing. He shouldn't care. He shouldn't be putting his eggs in this basket again, but he couldn't help it. His friends might think they were just some friends with benefits sort of situation, but she meant more to him than that.
If he couldn't have her, then whoever had her better cherish it. As much as he hated seeing her with someone else, he would've been fine if she had loved them. Perhaps not so fine–in reality, anyone who had her on their arm made him absolutely furious–but better than seeing her like this.
"Then explain it to me," he was practically pleading with her, "I don't get it. I don't understand why you'd go for someone like him, instead of some other guy in our school, or another lesser lord who's at least your age. I know there are people out there, people who would be good for you."
He looked away. "You have no fucking idea how much I want you back either," he admitted, "but your father would never let me have you if I lose my name, and it'll take me a while to persuade my father of anything else, and you don't have that time apparently." There was a bitterness in his tone, from how they had left things the other day. "You can do better, Elise. What does he have that other suitors of yours don't?"
He turned away. "You still have a choice," he spoke, confused and conflicted, "you're not promised to any lord yet. You have a way out. You could go to university, or marry someone else. There has to be something else you can do instead of letting that man make you his plaything. You deserve so much better than this."
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Feb 28, 2021 20:50:21 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Feb 28, 2021 20:50:21 GMT -5
"I don't want anyone else," Elise said, grabbing his arm again, suddenly terrified he'd leave and she'd be alone again. "I don't want to get married, I don't want to consider other suitors. I want you, but I can't have you. Your father will never give in. All I am is- what did he say? A common whore? How am I supposed to win him over?"
"Wharton is a temporary measure. I'm preg- I'm pretty sure I'll be going off to university in the fall. I need to do something... it's for my father... and it involves Wharton." It wasn't a total lie- she would be leaving in the fall to wherever pregnant mistresses went, and Wharton would distance himself from her then.
Gods, she shouldn't be explaining herself. What did it matter? It would be easier if Cato hated her. She hadn't expected to speak to him again, to let him close enough to see the shadows and self-hatred in her gaze. Elise wanted so badly to tell him everything, to beg him to stay. But she had heard about his training, and she'd only ruin both their futures if she burdened him with this, too. "I'm so sorry, Cato," she whispered. "I wish... I wish it were different. But I don't want you to be angry with me."
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Feb 28, 2021 21:13:47 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Feb 28, 2021 21:13:47 GMT -5
Cato couldn't help but feel immensely guilty for what he had done. He wanted her too. If he could have nothing else but this wish, he'd still choose it right now. She reached for his arm and suddenly, all of this became too much. He pulled her into a hug without a second thought, and perhaps he'd regret it–after all, they were in public and Lord Wharton and his father were very much out there–but he couldn't find it within himself to care.
He was furious, of course, at both Lord Wharton and at her father for practically using his daughter for whatever reason, to attract a customer? To lend her out so a rich lord could have a pretty thing on his arm? He hated this. Hated all of this. There were so many things he had accepted as just part of being in their ruling class, but this was one of the things that had always been unacceptable to him, how easily men like them manipulated younger girls to go along with things, as if they were objects rather than people.
"I'm not angry," he murmured, his head resting on hers, "I'm just...worried. God Elise, I'm worried sick about you. I...I don't want you to be angry with me either, because I couldn't...I couldn't fucking stand up to my dad, and..." How could he explain it? He couldn't find it within himself to talk badly of the Rotherhithe name, to burn that bridge and dance upon its flames. As much as his father could be horrible, he was still his father.
"I know things are...complicated right now, but gods I just want to take care of you," he whispered, "I just want you to be safe, and happier than this. Please, just take care of yourself. I'd hate to see you stuck with a man like that."
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Feb 28, 2021 21:26:32 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Feb 28, 2021 21:26:32 GMT -5
Elise was once again in Cato's arms, like she'd longed to be for weeks now. She buried her face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent like it was the oxygen she needed to survive. Gods, he was so warm and close and Elise was going to cry. She couldn't cry, or Wharton would suspect something.
Her hands clutched his shirt, steadying herself with the reassurance of his presence. "I'm not mad at you," she said quietly. "I know how much pressure is on you." Elise truly didn't blame him. She only wished that Cato wasn't so high-ranking, or that she had a title of her own to bring to the table. She wished they weren't twilight lovers- that they were the kind of lovers permitted to be together out in broad daylight.
A toilet flushed in the bathroom, and Elise jumped back, her nerves frazzled by the thought that Wharton could show up and find them together. When she revealed her pregnancy, there couldn't be any doubt of the parentage. Still, walking away from Cato was harder the second time around, now that she knew what torment her days held. "I have to go," she said, hesitating. "Cato... Come and see me, if you can," she spoke quickly, before she lost her nerve. "We can talk more. I can sneak you up to my room. I just- I want to see you more, before we both go away."
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Feb 28, 2021 21:36:17 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Feb 28, 2021 21:36:17 GMT -5
It just felt so right, to have her in his arms. She fit him like a puzzle, and the scent of her familiar shampoo–well, the shampoo he had given her weeks ago–made his heart ache like nothing else. He could feel the pain, the frustration, all of it flowing from her, and god, he felt the same. He just wished there was a way they could be together, a way for him to be brave enough to push back against his father.
"Of course," he responded quickly to her request, "I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll see you tonight, I promise." It wouldn't be hard to sneak out; his father probably suspected he'd be with his friends until late tonight anyway, and well, the man was nothing but gracious when it came to his eldest son most of the time.
He was still holding her hands tightly, as if letting her go would mean that everything would end. Pressing his lips to her hand, he finally let her slip away, watching her return to her place, waiting a little bit, before heading back to his table.
"Oh my god, what did you do earlier?" one of his friends asked eagerly.
"Nothing," he replied without hesitation, "Lord Wharton was the one who spilled his water. It was none of my business."
A snicker came from the boys as they understood his words for what they thought it meant, that he had gotten revenge for a bad break up by embarrassing the girl, when that was far from reality. The dinner went smoothly, and soon, his father was leaving first with his family, allowing Cato to spend the night with his friends instead. They had chatted a bit longer, drank more, and eventually, he mentioned something about being tired, leaving the others with a wave, as he found his way to the Monroe Mansion.
It wasn't difficult to sneak past the gate and to the window of Elise's room, climbing up the lattice to see if she was home.
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Feb 28, 2021 21:49:15 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Feb 28, 2021 21:49:15 GMT -5
Elise returned to the table with a renewed energy, the feeling of Cato's lips on her hand still prominent in her mind. Wharton was too self-righteous to suspect anything, and she managed to get out of going home with him, claiming nausea. It would work in her favor in the next few weeks, when she would reveal the pregnancy like it was the first she knew of it.
When she got home, she skirted around her father's disapproving gaze. He had heard the rumors, and seemed even more disgusted by Elise than normal. Elise knew their relationship would crumble entirely when she announced she was carrying a bastard.
In the safety of her bedroom she let down her hair, changing into a flowy nightgown and sitting nervously at her desk, waiting to see if Cato would come. She shouldn't have invited him, but she couldn't help it. To think that she would get no more happy memories before her years of isolation began was unbearable. Future pain was worth the rush of excitement she had right now.
Cato's knock came at her window and she jumped up, moving over to open it for him. "Welcome to my room," she whispered, smiling for the first time in weeks as he climbed in. It was a sweet, quaint room. Elise's own embroidery was framed at several spots on the wall, and the large tiger from the carnival sat on the quilt on her bed. "I've been in yours so much it's about time you came to mine."
This was a stupid, stupid idea, but Elise couldn't be smart when it came to Cato. She stepped into his arms the moment he opened them, exhaling slowly.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Mar 1, 2021 5:42:32 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Mar 1, 2021 5:42:32 GMT -5
The moment he climbed in, he already had his arms open for her. He would hold her forever if he could. His chin rested on the top of her head as he took in her room. It was so very her, the embroider on the wall, the tiger toy they had won together in the carnival, the collection of shells on a bookcase, the reminders of them, in the picture they took together that still laid on her desk...
He could feel his chest clench as he held her a little tighter. "I'm here," he breathed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm here."
Was this truly the last time he'd see her? He knew that the summer was short. In a few months, he'd be off to Pyxis, and she'd be going to university or something, or married to some nobleman, only for the two of them to pass each other politely in Vela, make small talk perhaps at some of the events around, perhaps see each other twenty years later at their school reunions, pretending as if nothing ever happened, pretending that at they weren't completely in love at one point of their lives...
He hated that. He hated the thought of life moving on as if this wasn't important in the string of events that the universe kept rushing through. It was hard not let the emotion overtake his voice.
"I'm glad you kept all of the stuff I got you," he gave her a laugh that sounded a little too damp to even sound like him, "I was scared you'd throw them all away."
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Mar 1, 2021 6:56:58 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Mar 1, 2021 6:56:58 GMT -5
"How could I throw them away?" Elise whispered, shaking her head against the strength and warmth of his chest. "They're the only things keeping me halfway sane right now. I miss you so much it hurts." She could have stayed in his arms forever- she wished she could freeze time, that he would never have to leave, that she would never have to be sent away.
Tears stung the corners of her eyes, brought about by the first comforting touch she'd received in a while, the first gentle kiss. It felt like before, and that tore a new hole in her chest. But she couldn't bear to send him away. Elise wanted him around as long as she could have him, even if it meant the pain would only increase when they were forced apart.
"Cato..." She said, pulling back slightly to look up at him. There was something she was going to say, but her train of thought was derailed by the look in Cato's eyes. Without thinking, she moved forward, and she was kissing him- hungrily, desperately, her need tripled by the cruel and unfeeling way Lord Wharton had put his hands on her. Elise's hands gripped his shirt, feeling dizzy and lighthearted as she drank him in like a drug, numbing the loneliness of their time apart.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Mar 1, 2021 9:50:32 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Mar 1, 2021 9:50:32 GMT -5
Cato wanted more time. Gods, he just wanted more time. He wanted to talk, to go back to the way they were before, just talking, and joking around, and falling deeply in love with each other, but time was a commodity they couldn't have.
He didn't just want her the way she kissed him right now, he wanted all of her. Her laughter, her frustration, the way she joked about everything, the way she could spin poetry with her words, the way she just understood him, but life wasn't some cheesy love song. Life didn't offer a happy-ever-after, even if she made the stars in his life shine just a little bit brighter.
Cato pulled her in, his own lips meeting hers as she melted into his touch, and he was picking her up, sitting on the edge of her bed as she sat on his lap, his own hands reaching to her face, gently holding her as if she was something precious, something he couldn't live without, as they slowly parted to breathe.
"Elise," his voice held a thread of pain in it, knowing the fate of their relationship, "gods I love you so much. I never want to be away from you." They had joked plenty, that one day, they'd be married in their own relationships, or widowed when they were older, and spend the rest of their lives on the beach with margaritas. It never occurred to him that he really might have to wait forever to see her again, that the rest of their lives would simply be fake hellos and small talk.
"I don't want to lose you," he buried his head in her shoulder as he held her tightly, too afraid that the moment he'd let go, he'd lose her forever.
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Mar 1, 2021 10:10:40 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Mar 1, 2021 10:10:40 GMT -5
"I love you too," she whispered, her eyes meeting his in the few inches that separated their faces. "Too much. It makes this all so much harder." Elise's hands touched his cheeks, then found their way into his hair when he buried his face in her shoulder.
The tears came again, streaming silently down her cheeks as she held him. "You won't lose me. I'll always be yours," she said hoarsely, burying her face in his curls. "Even if we can't always... be together." Perhaps... it was a long shot, but if their child grew up and was legitimized and she was free to do as she pleased again, they could be together. If he'd wait that long- and if he still wanted her after he knew she was bearing 'Wharton's' child.
Still, the thought of having to wait that long to see him again was excruciating. Elise wasn't sure she was making the right decisions anymore, but she was already on that path. "I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me," she said quietly, apologizing for what he might think about her when he learned the 'truth'. She didn't know that he would be gone before the rumors spread, and dead before they had a chance to be together.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Mar 1, 2021 11:13:01 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Mar 1, 2021 11:13:01 GMT -5
Cato found himself comforted by the softness of the hair his face was buried in, the smell of her, the softness of her hands in his hair, and he stayed in the warmth of her embrace. When she spoke, he finally looked up, his green eyes holding back whatever emotions he felt that threatened to pour out like a waterfall.
He looked confused. "There's nothing to forgive," he murmured, still holding her close, their faces inches apart, "you've done nothing wrong. I just...I should be the one apologizing." He was the one putting her in this position, he was the one who couldn't let her go even though they were in this limbo space, tied together yet unwilling to move forward or back. He was the one trapping her here. "I hope one day you could forgive me for not being able to say anything that night."
He looked away. If only he had been braver, if only he could be braver.
"If there's anything I could do for you," he whispered, "anything you need, please let me know. I...I'm stuck right now, but I swear, I'm trying. I'll figure this out as soon as I can, I promise."
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Mar 1, 2021 11:27:48 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Mar 1, 2021 11:27:48 GMT -5
"Stay," she whispered, fingers brushing his cheek like he was the most fragile thing in the world. Emerald eyes met forest green ones, exchanging grief and love and desire. "Stay for as long as you can. I don't... I don't want to be alone. I want you here, at least for tonight."
Her thumb brushed along his lip and before she could blink, they were kissing again. Elise would never know which of them initiated it, but it was everything she needed at that moment. Perhaps she would lose him forever, and in a few weeks she would lose him for a while, but tonight she wanted to be his, and she wanted him to be hers. At least one more time.
Elise wanted one more night with someone who knew how to touch her, how to love her how she wanted to be loved. Someone who would make her feel whole again instead of someone who made her feel lesser. She pulled at his shirt until he slipped it off, and her mouth found his again, desperate in her wanting of him. "Stay," she said again, breathlessly, as his lips found her collarbone, his hands running through her hair.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Mar 1, 2021 12:39:34 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Mar 1, 2021 12:39:34 GMT -5
"I will," he promised quietly before their lips met in a soft embrace, the gentleness preceded the hungry desire to love her. Everything else melted away when he was with Elise, and this was no exception. Her lips against his, her hands pulling at the shirt he wore until he was undoing the buttons, tearing it off as he slid her nightgown off her shoulders, has hands running along the soft skin of her arms, as if trying to memorize every small detail, every mole on her skin, every texture, every detail, as they slowly descended onto the bed.
He had spent weeks, tracing the lines of her body, memorizing what she loved, what left her wanting more, what made her gasp and call his name. This was all about her. This was all for her. His hands began their familiar path, mapping out the expanse of her body, traveling across the hills and valleys of her form, his soft kisses down her neck and collarbone were soft and gentle, walking the edge of desire as he held her, like something more precious than anything else in the world.
"Tell me what you want," he whispered, "let me love all of you the way you want."
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Mar 1, 2021 13:11:23 GMT -5
Post by nostalgic on Mar 1, 2021 13:11:23 GMT -5
Elise closed her eyes, exhaling softly as he kissed her, and hoping that Wharton's hands had not left marks for Cato to find. He was so tender with her, so focused on her rather than himself, that she nearly melted in his hands. Her head tilted back as he brushed his fingers along her hips and thighs, where her nightgown had slipped up. He followed her whispered requests, and it wasn't long until the warmth of arousal was burning in her stomach.
In her time with Wharton, she had forgotten how strong the feeling of desire could be. Elise guided Cato up and into her, wrapping her arms around her neck tightly as if she was afraid he would disappear. This time was distinctly different from all the other times they had made love. There was a keen sense of knowing this would end, a mindfulness and slowness about it, as if they were both trying to savor it for as long as they could. Elise could have died peacefully in his arms, floated into eternity as he whispered her name.
Afterwards, she snuggled as close as she physically could to him, under the warmth of her sheets and quilt. Her fingers skimmed various parts of him- his face, his shoulders, his forearms, trying to file the feeling of him away for when being this close was no longer possible. "I love you," she murmured, resting her cheek against his chest, reveling in the way his arms felt around her.
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▲ my life is just constantly existing at ungodly hours
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Mar 1, 2021 16:06:36 GMT -5
Post by achromatic on Mar 1, 2021 16:06:36 GMT -5
He truly explored her as if she was a landscape. There was no urgency in their lovemaking, rather, they took it slow. Her every request was his command tonight, savoring every kiss and every touch, her skin soft under his fingertips as if it was the very last he'd ever taste of her. It was soft, yet passionate, full of unspoken words and dreams, words they both knew well, but couldn't bear to say.
It was a farewell. He understood that clearly enough. It was a 'perhaps next time,' a silent soliloquy to the love they felt for one another, the 'love yous' and 'I'll miss you' all wrapped into an act, as they moved together in a rhythm under the sheets, until he found himself holding her as she rested in his arms.
"I love you too," he murmured, "so much that it hurts."
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